Dear Dad,

You used to hold me tight and kiss my forehead before I went to bed. I used to run to the car knowing we were going to take a car ride. I used to wonder who it was behind that Santa beard…I thought I had recognized that voice.

I wish I could tell this to you but I get scared now when I look into your eyes. Those nights just replay and I couldn’t believe you would think such things. As you told me such things I pictured myself going up to you to sit on your lap.

I hurt inside and I question myself where did I go wrong. I pray and ask my angels (nana and tata) to help you. To help you see what is going on.

Dad it hurts to know you hit her. It hurts to be told that you’re done being my dad. Dad it hurt to be called such names just because I wanted you and mom to be okay with each other. It hurt me when you said I am done with this family. Dad it hurt me when you said such things about my nani knowing she can’t even sit or feed herself.

Dad I want to erase everything but it’s hard..I was told it would take time but how can I just forget everything you called me for NO reason…just because you were mad at my mom. How can I forget what you called my boyfriend and what you put him through just because he isn’t mexican.

The word’s you told me when I was 15…”You can only trust family.”

How? How do I trust when my own family hurt me. How do I trust when you broke these promises? How do I trust when you hit my own mom?

I get it…you’re human. I get that you may not like the way things g sometimes but I DO know hitting and threatening is NOT the way. Please get better dad.

I called the cops because I knew it was right and for our safety. I know I came in but to protect my mom and siblings. I know I asked for both stories to see if I can fix it. Dad I continue to get calls about you putting your hands on her. Please like I have BEGGED before quit the alcohol. It’s not worth it. Please get better before it’s to late.

You still have time. Time is ticking. You have to want it to get it. Please open your eyes. I don’t have enough tears to keep this going dad. Please get better.