So if you read my post before this it introduces my youngest brother. It sort of shows you our relationship. Along with reading my previous posts where I stand with my parents.

I work at a K-8 school which my youngest brother began attending last year. I can say he has been given the spotlight coming to this school. He has branched out of his comfort zone and found what he truly loves. It takes weight off my shoulders knowing I can walk down the hall knowing he is in good hands.

Sad to say my brother has witnessed some of my parents episodes which I know he holds in. The last episode my parents had after Thanksgiving he cried to me and my boyfriend asking if he can move with us. He told me he wants me as his mom.

I cried.

I see my childhood replaying all over again. They fight or get drunk then just take him to the movies. Just like when I was little they would fight then just take me to the toy store.

I don’t wish this on ANYONE. To hear him say these things breaks my heart. I brought him home today he asked me if I ever got angry. He said “I don’t think I have ever seen you angry or just mad when you tell me I should walk the dogs.”

I told him its normal to get angry or mad but I show it either when I’m alone or I show it in a different way like hitting a softball or writing or cleaning.

He then said, “Well when you tell me to walk the dogs you tell me nicely..you don’t yell or call me anything. Not my dad….he yells at me and tells me how I just cry and then he cusses.” His eyes watered. I asked him if his feeling felt hurt… he just nodded.

It hurts. What do I tell him oh it’s okay for dad to say that. NO.

I told him look, I know it hurt your feelings but you have to know what he said about you isn’t true and you can’t let it bring you down. He doesn’t know the right way to express himself remember I am not excusing him I’m telling you so you’re not hard on yourself.

I wish with everything I have I could take him into my house. But I know my parent’s will do everything not to let that happen. If I tried and couldn’t go through they would probably stop me from seeing my own brother.

I tried showing my dad by moving from the house that he is losing those he loves from his actions but sadly we go through this and he doesn’t learn. I wish they would open their eyes to see they are hurting another child. Another innocent child.

As I promised him nobody or nothing could ever separate him and I and I will ALWAYS his second mom..as it is he always calls me and my boyfriend his mom and dad.

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