Happy Valentine’s Day…I caught myself. I almost cracked but I made it through the day. I saw the kiddos this morning getting dropped off by their parents and dads walking their kids. How these kids talk and praise their parents.

Just then as the kids are greeting me I receive a text. “Happy Valentine’s to the loves of my life my girls.”

My dad sent us a group text…to my sister and my mom and I.

I don’t understand why it has been hard to handle these moments. I lose myself and I lose my appetite and just wish I was asleep. As I go on with my dad we begin to pass out Valentine grams and one of the students received one from her dad.

I exited the room.

My dad was once like that.

My dad was my eyes. He was my hero.

I remember crying one day because he called my mom his queen. I wanted to be called princess. Where did this all go?

Why can’t I just go back and not ever know the other side of him. I try my very best to move on and forget and forgive but these moments really do get me. Why did this all have to happen. Didn’t he know I have feelings?  Why would he hurt us? Why would he hurt her? You say you love her but you hit her. You say you love me you call my your little girl but then you hit me and tell me such things. Which one is it?

This has been my moment to vent before I enjoy the night with the man I love.

I admit this healing process hurts and it’s taking to damn long. I love working with kids But is this going to feel like this forever? I don’t want this to ruin the love I have working with kids. As I continue to heal I shall keep moving forward knowing it’s going to be okay. 

 

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