My grandma once told her daughters…”When you say those vows you understand you take your partner through their best and worst. You must stick by them through thick and thin.”
I am sure we have seen and heard this be told to many as they tie the knot. What do these words mean?
To stick by them at their worst and best. What does this mean? As people read this it can mean different things. Some people may take this literal and some may not. I have came across people who became single due to their partner having an affair, or because their partner lost their job or even because their partner did not want to work.
Everybody is different and everyone has different expectations. Some people work as a team and both bring home the money. Some people let their partner become the bread maker and the other partner may take care of the kids. Some might travel. This leads to culture and tradition. I myself come from a Mexican background. My grandparents lived with the idea “Mexican Macho” which the man in the relationship took control. The woman serve the man at all times. The man would work and have their routine day by day. As for the woman they cook, clean and take care of the child/children. As humans when it comes to relationship there is always more to this. Communication, love and respect.
When my grandparents came to America they did not know much english. Actually my grandma knew NO english. So I am sure you can imagine her children going to school learning in English how the parent and children role was. They were able to get away with things knowing my grandma knew no english and my grandpa had an education up to the 6th grade.
As years past these generations learn and live from what they have been taught and what they see daily. With many generations to the time in life we are in now the roles of a woman and man have changed. The roles of race has changed. It is okay to keep some traditions but when it comes to gender roles and cultures if a man is beating you and making you feel little this does not mean to stick by there side. That is abuse.
Traditions are beautiful things. Things I can pass to future generations are the music, the food, the stories, the achievements and etc. When we pass these messages we also have to explain what they mean. Examples…stories to back it up.
I think back to when I was growing up going through adolescence, I was not spoken to about respect. I learned it on my own as I observed and lived. I was not talked to about sex. I watched a video in my social hygiene class in fifth grade. I learned through life.
It is important to teach these type of things to our future generations. There is SO much yet time just keeps flying.
Sticking by their side through the worst times may be if they fail at something the understanding it will be hard but to be their to support them. If they had a bad day to understand and guide them. If they have an achievement to love and cherish the moments with them.
Again because you were told to stick by their side through the worst times does not mean if they beat you, rape you, mentally abuse you, cheat on you or etc. Although it is up to you always look at the bigger picture as this may affect those that surround you including your children.