He questions why I don’t contact him to say hi…he talks shit about how I distanced myself.
The crazy thing…HE pushed me away. I didn’t just wake up one morning and just think to distance myself from my own dad. His words and actions PUSHED me away. I think about how my life is right now…financially I am always on a budget now BUT I am not stressed being in that house to think about ANOTHER FIGHT.
During our session last week we shared how alcohol has been such a huge influence on my parents relationship. My mom denied it in her text message. But last night I received a text message “accidentally” from my mom saying how she was making herself a drink. Lol this was the second time I accidentally received a text about her drinking.
I laugh because she denies it but my youngest brother even talks about when she gets drunk and the times he doesn’t see them.
I do not let this bring me down but it leaves me thinking how they can forget ALL the fights, the alcohol fights, the bruises, the name calling, the belittling BUT they can’t forget how I decided to date out of my race. They can’t forget that I was on my brother for wanting to drink a whole gallon of milk in a day.
Numerous times when I confronted them about why they did things they used “AFTER ALL THE THINGS WE DID FOR YOU.” …This was their manipulation card. They reassured themselves by telling their friends how I didn’t want to be with them. BUT they never told them the part that has been hurting myself and my siblings..
I get the domestic violence, I understand the manipulation and I see the mental abuse…I am happy to say I have fallen from that chapter and know whats going on. I am able to share this experience to express the toxic that went on in that house. The toxic that continues to go on in that house. The toxic I no longer breath because I removed myself from there for a better life. All I have left on my list is to save my brother and sister from the toxic fumes they are breathing.
In the end when I save them its going to end up coming back to me how its my fault.
I know. I already mentally prepared myself and I know its NOT my fault.