I wanted to share this metaphor my therapist showed me that summarized my feelings.
Imagine a fence in front of you. No cracks, no dents, nothing just a nice fence. Imagine a person grabbing a nail and hammering it into this fence. Now they add some more nails. Then as you get get a hammer you remove the nails.
What do you see?
These holes are the memories and pains you are left with and they will always be there. Each nail was a memory, a hit, a word a incident that was put into your memories. Now just because the nails were taken out it doesn’t mean the fence is okay. Just because they say sorry it doesn’t mean it just goes away. Just like these holes.
We could cover the holes up but it will take time for the fence to return to itself. It may not be the way it was but it will get there. It may take years after a new piece of wood gets placed over it or wire or paint. But again it will take time for these “holes” to be patched and healed.
I found the link to the full metaphor and it may connect to some of you.