I was watching this video of a woman sharing her story as a survivor. It had me thinking…
Although I feel I am in the process of healing and moving on I question myself if the verbal abuse I went through or the domestic violence I witnessed is just an imagination.
I know it isn’t but if you go and take a look at my parents now you would not spot it. Thats where I have people thinking I am crazy. My parents have been trying so hard to talk and hangout these last couple of months but the events took over how I see them.
If only I had the chance to put them under oath ….
Dad do you intimidate my mom to get your way? Have you ever called my mom or me or the kids out of their name? Have you ever laid your hands on my mom to get your way? Or because you were angry?
Mom answer those too… Do you recall the night alcohol being involved and your husband MY dad.. choking you in the air and slapping me because he was angry? Or when he threw the glass at me because he was upset he slapped me…
Dad do you recall the night you were drunk and said the most hurtful words to my mom..me and the kids heard it all ..do you recall calling me a bitch and telling me to just leave and go fuck my boyfriend in vegas…
Do both of you recall all the times you called me and the kids to tell us you were going to get a divorce? Do you?
Mom do you recall all the holes you covered up and the bruises…
Just because he does not physically hurt you all the time…when a person verbally abuses you it is as bad. It is a way they take control and manipulate TO take control.
You know all those relationships..friendships you lost… some of those people were trying to save you.. Yeah mom including me.
You chose my dad side after he belittled you…after me and the kids called the cops..you chose him. I get it you’re scared.
Mom…dad… I get you guys are trying to forget EVERYTHING that has ever happened but it stayed with me. While you guys plan these car club events, parties, cabo vacations I am healing. I know what was done wrong…I may only have a limited amount of proof but understand your violence and abuse effected us.
It made me depressed…it made me look for love quickly…it made me depressed to the point I felt lost..
I can finally say all of this without crying can you believe it. I was a wreck! I cried sleeping…I woke up crying…I even cried at work! One of the places I love I cried there because of how much this all was breaking me.
I may continue to pass your invitations and I may take them…
As much as you both miss how things were between us can you imagine how lost I feel. The two people who brought me on this earth..the two people who guided me right from wrong…the two people who shared and share how much they love me.. for 23 years!
the two people who dedicated their lives for me and my siblings…the two people who ALWAYS told me family will always be here…you can ALWAYS trust your mom and dad.
WHAT? Where were you guys? Where were you when I was hurting from all this…thats right you were telling people how I left because it was time to leave the nest..Oh and don’t forget the things you have been saying about my brother leaving…that he did it the wrong way and left to hurt you when you guys did ALL the hurting already.
I love you guys but I wish you knew how much this all has affected us deeply.
You have all the right to be respected and to tell your loved one you deserve to be treated with dignity.
If you know anybody that is or possibly is going through abuse please reach out to them.
It’s hard doing this alone…the more support the better people can open their eyes and see the pain this brings.