I started my new class at my new school. It feels amazing I am on my way to receive my Bachelors by next year.
I share my grief but I also want to share my accomplishments. We all hold a story that got us where we are today.
We all are human and knowing our mistakes lead to our accomplishments. It’s just the matter of taking the ball and rolling it in the right direction.
I will admit I hit these days where I cry of pain of confusion from my parents. It doesn’t mean I will forever be lost in that moment but it’s just the time I need to let it all out. I have been so blessed to have my boyfriend through this as he lets me cry he just hugs me and lets me cry. I let it out, I write, I workout. It’s a matter of finding our balance to be able to achieve.
This is where writing plays such an important role as we have readers who may go through similar things and what you did can help another person. What you did can inspire somebody to change. What you say can maybe even stop somebody from what they are doing.
Mother’s Day is around the corner and I explained to a coworker I feel weird. I know my mom..I am trying to remember our good times I feel just scared and just blank.
She responded…you’re scared to be hurt again. You have this wall/boundary put up because you are trying to protect yourself from being hurt again.
The emotional feeling to that is so wordless. It’s sort of like an empty feeling and just questions running through my head and just so much planning.
I feel as if I am going to touch the water but am scared I will feel ice cold water rather than room temperature.
I agreed to go to dinner with my parents again. I may have healed myself but the healing between us has not fully happened. I am trying to give them the benefit of the doubt but to a certain level.
The craziest part I know they see the boundary. I know they feel the burn of me just disappearing off their planet. If they only you what the feelings are on my side.