When you are little you see them as heroes. I used to see my parents as the King and Queen and anything they said they must have learned somewhere right? So they definitely can’t be doing or saying wrong.
Now the feeling I have…well besides lost I also feel stranded. I was brought into this world to succeed and achieve all dreams. As I talk to them they always seem to say something negative or want the worse for me. Who tells their daughter that they hope they fail? Who tells their daughter they hope their relationship doesn’t last? Who listens to their daughter and talks negative in a hurtful way about them after?
Well that answer for me is my parents. I begin to notice trust is a real thing. I begin to notice love can be used as just a word sometimes.
I don’t know if I should be hurt, angry or confused. I have accepted I may have come to a dead end. Although I have tried to bring this family close and lose the talking it’s out of my hands.
Life is to short to let people try to take you down..as my good friend says.
This is the reason why I keep a smile on my face as it is my barrier to let these feelings get in my way.
February 5, 2017 at 1:24 am
These are heart wrenching posts… I’m sorry, it sounds like you are struggling with some really heavy circumstances. Stay strong. My heart goes out to you – I don’t know your personal situation with your parents, but I grew up in an abusive household. The impact on children is big ❤
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February 5, 2017 at 1:26 am
Thank you it means a lot and yes it does..It truly means a lot for you read my story. Thank you once again ❤
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February 5, 2017 at 1:33 am
You’re so welcome. It’s helpful to find people that can understand, at least on some level. I hope things get better for you ❤
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February 5, 2017 at 1:53 am
Writing and finding connections to those that understand has been what keeps me going. Thank you 🙂
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February 5, 2017 at 2:42 am
Me too. Thank you ❤
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February 9, 2017 at 2:07 am
I really enjoy the few posts I just read, I know what you feel like and I’m very sorry about your situation.. Writing does help a lot, doesn’t it?
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February 9, 2017 at 2:17 am
Thank you and yes it has been so therapeutic to let everything out and for once to be heard 🙂
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February 10, 2017 at 7:30 am
I’m going to be posting some stuff about my struggles with mental illness, give me a follow maybe so we can keep in touch?
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February 22, 2017 at 3:34 am
I’m so sorry to read this. Sometimes it’s best to love people from a distance, even if they are your own flesh, and blood. It is a very painful reality, trust me, I know this all too well. Your relationship with your parents is toxic, to say the least. Their negativity will slowly devour you if you allow it. I wish to convey that it is not your fault; there is not anything wrong with you. You are a sweet, gentle individual in a very tragic circumstance that you have no control over what so ever. The truth of the matter is that your parents are miserable, and seek to make you miserable as well. They may not be consciously aware that they are doing this of course, but they are doing so none the less. They are very unhealthy individuals. Healthy people don’t destroy other human beings. I cannot stress this enough. It is of extreme importance for you to surround yourself with positive individuals that encourage you in your endeavors. Most importantly, you must believe in yourself, and take care of yourself. Try composing a list of your positive traits; invite friends and loved ones whom are a positive influence in your life to jot down a list of everything they admire about you as well. Compile the lists into one large one, and display it next to a mirror. Every morning when you first awaken, go to the mirror, and read the list out loud to yourself. This will feed you with positivity, and help boost your self esteem. Do this throughout the day whenever you feel you need an emotional boost. I perform this ritual everyday, and it has assisted me substantially in increasing my overall self love. I dearly hope this helps. I only wish I could do more.
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February 22, 2017 at 4:15 am
Thank you so much…I tear up reading this. It is hard it is but I am positive and I have been surrounding myself with positive people thank you💜
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